When I first returned home, I was desperate to DO something. I needed to act out of character. I needed to explode out of a year of suppression. So I made plans with a friend to hike for 3 days. Putting myself in challenging situation was out of character. Sadly, this fell through due to issues with her ex-husband (now there’s a crazy guy).
So, I started to make my usual plans to be with people. I planned to go to a baptism for my friend’s baby. (Nothing unusual) Then I planned to go to the beach with my roommate from college. (Okay, maybe something different. However, it was during the time that the kids were with Adam.)
Then it came. My college friends planned for us to run a half marathon! This is it! Something totally different. Something that would challenge me, but give me a goal. Something to do with the people I care for. Something I might succeed at even it means training and really pushing myself. (now this may be cancelled)
When I told my Mom, her response was “you’re making a lot of plans theses days.” The voice in my head said -Yes, 3 plans for the next 9 months. it completely unheard of?! Seriously, I know people who make 3 plans in one day! I laughed off the comment and moved on with my plans.
Then the other day my Dad asked how I was getting along in our home town. I responded with “How am I getting along? I’ve been in this kitchen for 3 months. How do you think I’m getting along?” His responded with “But you’ve been out.” In my head once again – Yes, Dad I’ve been out with people 3 times in the last 3 months. Wow, I’m quite the popular girl.
Now this blog isn’t about whining that I have nothing to do. I really do. I have friends (and a sister) who are constantly inviting me to visit. All that is wonderful. However, what I miss is local friendship.
Over the past 20+ years, I’ve gone from physically being with friends every day, to only on weekends, to only once a year. Adam stopped wanting to be with friends. He stopped reaching out to other guys and do guy things. And I let him.
But not anymore! Now, I’m accepting invitations to local dinners. When I have a house, I’m going to try to find a few friends to have over. I’m going to reach out to other members in our school community. Heck, I’m even going to give Church a go again. (Andy Stanley has motivated me on this. You should check him out.)
Bottom line, currently my dance card is empty. However, I’m going to work until it’s FULL. Who knows I may even make a friend along the way.
Guiding Card: Steady Progress
Where’s Adam?: He realized that his new financial proposal was not fair. He actually emailed me some other options. Don’t worry. I’m not going to do anything stupid and think that he’s resurrected his old self. Even Jesus couldn’t bring that dead guy back.