I’m having a crazy urge to call Adam. Why? I don’t know. I just want to talk to him, catch up, and see what is going on. There is nothing on my agenda. But we all know, that is not what is best. This urge got me to thinking – why do I want to talk to him? Is it really him? Or do I really just want to talk to someone?
This morning I’ve talked to my parents and my children. I’ve talked on the phone with my friend Libby. I’ve texted with a college friend and a childhood friend. I’ve spoken on the phone with a friend who has to cancel our party on Tuesday (insert sadness). I’ve also emailed with a long distance friend. In addition, I’ve posted on FB about a friend who needs our love and support right now. And lastly, I’m writing this. Don’t you think that enough communication to prevent me from wanting to call Adam? Evidently, NOT!
My horoscope today said: “
Let’s look at that. Friends? Yes, everyone I have talked to today is a friend. Okay, maybe not my parents or my kids, but they are important people in my life. Then there is the word “connect.” Am I truly connecting with my friends?
This makes me think about child development. Remember when children start playing they parallel play, but they don’t interact. I think that is what I am doing. I’m parallel playing with my friends.
For example, at the football game on Saturday, I stood near my friends from high school I interacted with them very little and overall felt very uncomfortable around them. Why? What is something they said? NO, it was me. I don’t know how to connect with them. I’ve also noticed that new people I meet, I cannot remember their names. Or worse, I don’t remember their faces either. I’m not connecting; I’m going through the motions. I am a toddler trying to grow up to be a big girl.
Now, this is not to say I’m not connecting with others. Libby and I talk or text every day. I’ve really been working to make sure these conversations are not always about poor me. Because we all have issues; we all need to be heard; we all need to know that someone cares. I truly don’t want to diminish my relationships. I have some VERY good friends out there. But I’m not being a good friend and connecting.
So here is my goal for this week/weekend: CONNECT. If only Aretha had written a song about it maybe it would be easier for me.
Guiding Card of the Day: Grounded – yes, yes, I know. I need to be more grounded. Maybe that is part of this connection issue.